Common Misconceptions about Mormon Undergarments
Or, why I should have been thinking about how no one ever deposits a million dollars into my bank account
Not 20 minutes ago I was reading the Slate Explainer column on whether Mormon athletes wear their temple garments under their uniforms (short answer: no). After I finished the article I was chiding myself, "See, Annie, Mormon underwear is weird, but they're just Christians like all the other Christians, and they get a bad rap, and for that matter, all Christians get a bad rap. They're really just nice people, and it's the whack jobs who get all the press." And that, I believe, is the truth. I also thought to myself how weird it was that I hadn't had anyone proselytizing at my door lately (probably due to the cold weather), when I-shit-you-not I-am-not-making-this-up I heard voices outside and my doorbell rang. I don't know what denomination they were, but they wanted to leave me a pamphlet, which I refused. I would have taken their pamphlet before telling them I wasn't interested, but it would have been a waste of paper because I would have immediately thrown it out. So I helped save the earth today!
Anyway, I came away from this encounter shaking my head in disbelief going, "I am so blogging this," so I sat back down at the computer and started typing. Then I found myself clicking through the links in the Slate article, and one led me to Mormon-underwear.com. Hoping they might have a picture of these mysterious undergarments, I explored the site. Eventually I wound up on their "Common Misconceptions" page. Wanting to not be an ignorant person and eager to more understand my fellow human beings, I read them:
I'm not sure why a popular misconception of Mormon undergarments is that they contain nipple protectors (protection from chafing, maybe?). Maybe it has to do with the fact that they're expected to be worn under a bra (according to the Slate article). I'm not sure how that would work (or could ever possibly be comfortable), but I'm sure they've worked that out.
Misconception Explanation mormon underwear has knee protectors and nipple protectors Mormon garments do not have knee protectors, or any other type of protectors. Members of the LDS church who are engaged in activities requiring physical protectors of any sort would have to use them just like anyone else.
Sure, this makes sense. I'm glad to see that Mormons recognize that daily life does not always lend itself to the wearing of impractical undergarments.
Misconception Explanation you have to wear mormon underwear for life Since mormon garments serve as a reminder of promises made in the temple, members of the church choose to wear them at all times when it is appropriate. If they didn't it wouldn't serve as a very good reminder! Obviously at times when you wouldn't wear normal underwear (such as bathing or swimming) mormons wouldn't wear their garments.
Yeah, young boys don't wear the undergarment - they haven't been to temple. Duh. Also, underwear is the LEAST effective way of teaching the immorality of masturbation. My body is a temple, not a funhouse. Glad we cleared that up.
Misconception Explanation mormon underwear helps to discipline young boys against masturbation First of all, young boys wouldn't be wearing garments. Garmets are only worn after attending the temple (see FAQs). In addition, while mormons believe that masturbation is not an appropriate activity, they learn this in their church classes, not through their underwear.
See? Why is everyone so suspicious at the prospect of Mitt Romney becoming President? Maybe they're just jealous because they've got to shop at Wal-Mart for their drawers.
Still, I suppose I won't be joining the Latter Day Saints for any church picnics this summer.
6 comments:
Hehehe, you crack me up. I am so asking my Mormon friend about this.
Wait, is that like the people who say "my black friend" or "my gay friend" or "my Jewish friend?" Am I one of those people?
(Just to clarify, I have friends from all of the above groups, I'm just saying that I'm not usually the type to identify my friends in such a way... you know what I'm talking about.)
Ok, I'm going to stop talking before my foot gets any further into my mouth.
LOL. The funniest part of this, of course, is that because you were typing all of it, you totally had the ability to self-censor, and yet you didn't!
And for the record, you're not one of those people, if only because I know you, and I know what you mean when you say things that other people might misconstrue.
Well, yeah, I could have self-censored, but I still wanted to make my point and I couldn't think of a better way to put it just then, so... it was the fastest way to awkwardly get through it. :)
I was just wondering if it had even crossed your mind as maybe a sign that as you were thinking about how the LDS don't come knocking at your door.... someone does come knocking. Maybe god trying to tell you something?
Hey,
First, I enjoyed your blog. Very funny. But I wanted you to know that Mormons ARE NOT Christians (and neither are Jehovah's Witnesses, for that matter). They want you to think they are, but they aren't. I won't bore you with details, and, frankly, I'm too lazy to do it, but I wanted you to know that. If you are interested, I'm sure you could do research on it.
Thanks,
A Christian
Tips For choosing The Perfect Underwear
Underwear belongs to the basic undergarments and without underwear you feel yourself incomplete and it is also necessary to wear the good type of panty.
It is very difficult task for a man to select the women underwear from the ladies undergarment shop. But it is as much difficult as you think because you know the lady for whom you buying the underwear so, follow the some simple rules and get the perfect and stylish underwear for her. First of all select the style of underwear which you want for your lady, and it is also up to you that in which style you want to look your lady.
You can see lots of designs and styles of the underwear and short pants in theLingerie shop but it totally depend on you that who you are purchasing for and what you want and what kind of style and color suits her. It is the fact that pregnant women always want to wear the comfortable undergarments so, they prefer that kind of undergarments in which they feel theirself easy and relax.
Mostly people stick with the cotton panties but if you are purchasing for your girlfriend then never buy the cotton stuff panties always prefer the thong because in thong she looks hot and sexy. The color and material of the undergarment also matter a lot, when it comes to the panties, and then no doubt there are a huge variety of colors and designs. Black is a safe color because in black color ladies look slimmer so, nine out of ten prefer the black color. Material of the underwear is also very important, it is better to select the soft fabric.
Post a Comment